One of the guys was communicating with on namelessdatingwebsite told me that he doesn’t believe in love. My response was something like WHAT THE FUCK?!
Seriously, who hits up women on dating websites and woos them with their apathetic attitude toward love? Whatthefuckever.
In other news, I’ve decided I would never have money problems again if every ex-boyfriend who contacted me paid some sort of fee/fine. It appears I’m that girl: the girl who boys profess their love, kindness, and appreciation to AFTER we’re done dating. Thanks a fucking lot guys! I sincerely hope one of the handful of men I’m communicating with right now will appreciate me for all my sassy glory before we’ve broken up. When I asked my friend Steph how to go about charging ex-boyfriends the “I was wrong about you fee” she suggested I make each new guy sign a contract when we first start dating. Lawyers? Help! 
25 responses so far ↓
morton (danny) // September 30, 2008 at 9:58 am |
I will profess my love for you prior to our dating. Because I’m radical.
sdragoc // September 30, 2008 at 10:01 am |
I, the undersigned, swear to give Pants $1000 every time I profess my love, or the fact that cocoa butter gives me wood, AFTER we are no longer together.
Thérèse // September 30, 2008 at 10:07 am |
Hee hee, I like that, sdragoc.
Yes, Pantsy, have them sign a pre-dating contract! They have pre-nup agreements that include all kind of nonsense, so I see no reason to not have a pre-dating contract. Just put in your terms, any terms. I’d love to see your list of requests.
Pants // September 30, 2008 at 10:08 am |
Danny,
Wow, that is radical.
sdragoc,
Have I told you lately that I fucking love you?! I can’t wait to see you NEXT WEEK!!! xoxo
Pants // September 30, 2008 at 10:09 am |
Whoopsie! Didn’t see your comment slip in!
That list of requests would be awesome…if I’m not careful it could be very long!
Burreetoe // September 30, 2008 at 10:51 am |
That happened to me a few times. Ooh, it happened with the Grey boy we spoke about recently. I was like huh? WTF? Now you think I’m the coolest chick in the world? Yeah, maybe if things don’t work out with the guy I’m dating, then we can give it a try. Good thing I married Jon, huh?
apollocreed // September 30, 2008 at 11:34 am |
Contracts before sex?
You will never see another penis again.
crystal // September 30, 2008 at 12:32 pm |
at least your call you back and don’t act like they don’t know you when they see you on the street
Sra // September 30, 2008 at 12:34 pm |
This is why it’s usually best to employ a communication embargo with exes. I mean really, can anyone REALLY just be friends with an ex? Ok, yeah it does happen, but not usually, and if it does, there usually needs to be some time and distance in between.
-R- // September 30, 2008 at 2:23 pm |
I think the internet dating guy is hoping you will respond, “I will show you what true love is! I can change you!” And then you will go out for a little while, and then he will dump you and say it is your fault because you knew at the very beginning that he didn’t believe in love.
Pants // September 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm |
Burreetoe,
Yes, good thing!
apollocreed,
Aw, man. I was so pumped about my contractual relationships ahead!
crystal,
Does it make me evil that I’ve acted like I don’t see them on the street? It’s just too weird running into an ex (or worse, a short-term guy) with a current boyfriend. AWKWARD! Why do you think I had to move to a new state? Ha ha.
Sra,
I’ve always employed a communication embargo with exes…with the exception of my friend Neil. We were friends for a long time before we dated. I think it’s very unusual how well it’s worked out for he and I to maintain friendship. We’re kind of like Jerry and Elaine. Oh snap! Come to think of it – our friend Moe is kind of like George Costanza!
-R-,
You pretty much described my last relationship. Lame! I’m over stupid boys. Time for men! (Cue Boyz II Men – Motown Philly)
lostinutah // September 30, 2008 at 2:47 pm |
I have to talk to my ex – we have a kid together. But I keep it at a damn minimum, I can tell you. And I don’t think he’ll ever acknowledge how good of a wife I was. But I know, and that’s enough for me.
Men who openly state they don’t believe in love should be avoided at all costs. They got screwed over by some chick, somewhere, and they’re ready to take it out on YOU.
Good luck!
Zanny // September 30, 2008 at 4:08 pm |
Here, here lostinutah! My thoughts exactly. It’s the same guy who says “I’m never getting married!” and then gets married to the girl hr dumped you for.
Yeah, been there.
The Grunt // September 30, 2008 at 5:21 pm |
That’s kind of sweet–the exes declaring their loveto you– in that annoying “get the fuck outta my life” kind of way.
Essentially Me // September 30, 2008 at 7:23 pm |
I love this idea!
sizzle // September 30, 2008 at 9:27 pm |
Gah! Why do boys do that? I have had that problem too but since I changed my number and hit delete when they email me I think they got the hint. I definitely think you should charge.
dmb5_libra // October 1, 2008 at 6:28 am |
this is a great idea
Stefanie // October 1, 2008 at 8:21 am |
I have the opposite problem. Men stop dating me and never think about me again. Or so it seems.
tori // October 1, 2008 at 8:43 am |
What a great plan. I hope it works.
Sorry about the guy who doesn’t believe in love.
ubermilf // October 1, 2008 at 8:51 am |
Both -R- and Lostinutah have nailed “Mr. I Don’t Believe In Love” on the head. Unless He’s Huey Lewis.
Also, good luck finding a man. Men are the most wonderful things in the world.
Boys, not so much. Unless they actually ARE boys. But not a boy stuck in a 30 or 40 year old body.
meggypoo // October 1, 2008 at 9:25 am |
Boys are dumb. And I’m not quite sure men are much better. I can’t seem to even attract one that I’m attracted to. I get the spazoids that are in love after the first date and have gaps the size of gumballs in their teeth. I love this internet dating shit. I think you should start charging the fee upfront, and then if it works out, you can refund their money over the alter… as part of the ceremony. That shit would be romantic.
lostinutah // October 1, 2008 at 7:03 pm |
I love Huey Lewis…especially when he sings “Do You Believe In Love”. Him, I’d take a chance on.
yournamehere // October 1, 2008 at 10:42 pm |
He doesn’t believe in love because of his small penis.
egan // October 2, 2008 at 11:34 pm |
With ideas like this, you should be running for Vice President.
You live(d) in a border state. You like movies starring old men, and you can wink. You’re hired.
Douchebag Central « Pants, pants, PANTS! // October 6, 2008 at 9:36 am |
[...] 6, 2008 · No Comments Remember the guy who told me he didn’t believe in love, via namelessdating website? After sharing his negative feelings about love he sent me another email [...]