Travel Observations/Questions

1. Why does flying make me sofucking tired?
2. If you run around the (airport) terminal muttering, “Who do I have to fucking blow to get a Diet Coke around here?” Men will stare at you, longingly.
3. If you start crying in an airport terminal everyone will stare at you.
4. Never again will I neglect to choose my seat in advance. I sat directly next to the toilet, both flights. I had to restrain myself from planting a kiss punching the douchebag in the baby maker who left the folding bathroom door OPEN after taking a dump. So much for packing a snack
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5. I had an incredible time with my friends, though it’s NEVER long enough. I REALLY missed my Neil. He has the most adorable little chicken. (And NO, chicken is not a euphemism for penis, perverts!) Please cross your fingers Neil has to come to Utah on business soon – since that appears to be the only way to trick get friends to visit Utah.
6. Neil seemed to be leading the club of friends who think I need to write a book about my family (among other things). Is it really that unusual to have a relative fake their own death? (HEE!)
7. For once in my life, could the man resting his elbow on muffin top for the entire flight be young and attractive, or at least not suffer wretched halitosis?
8. Last night, after spending the evening with my friends at their beautiful wedding reception, I cried like a baby on the walk to my rental car. And I’m not even having my period! I just really love being home.
9. Though there are many things I don’t like about Utah, I couldn’t imagine leaving my two-year-old niece. I feel truly lucky to be a part of her everyday life. I know her far better than I would if I lived in another state. I love that she woke up after she and my sister dropped me off at the airport and squawked for my Ditty Bops CD. Then made my sister replay it over and over before she said my name, “Miss her” and sighed dramatically. It’s even pretty cute when she hushes me for talking during Shrek, until she reaches her boiling point, holds one finger up and shrieks, “AHH-NOYING!”
10. My heart is mixed up. It’s confusing to long for home when home means two different places.
11. I met my cousin’s 5 month old baby for the first time. He’s a doll. All I wanted to do was squeeze all of his chins and make him giggle.
12. I also met my dear friend Lulu’s baby boy. In case you’re wondering what it’s like to hold a 3 week old baby, it’s HEAVEN. What a sweet little peanut. I loved every second that he snuggled up against me, taking a nap, while we sat and visited.
13. It might be less depressing to leave the bay area without listening to Beck’s “Sea Change” but I can’t fucking help it.
14. I might be less homesick if I could focus on the 6 men I have go-sees (coffee dates) with this week. I hope this means I’m about to get my slut back on! Enough of this club celibacy bullshit, already.