Weekend Snippets

“Yeah, that’s right, I said I like D’Angelo. It’s good fuckin’ music.”

“The way that guy looked at me directly violated the rules of Club Celibacy.”

“Couldn’t shake me.”
“Just like my vagina.”

Why you comin home 5 in the mornnn
Somethins goin on, can I smell yo dick
Don’t play me like a fool, cause that ain’t cool
So wat u need to do is lemme smell yo dick

Real live polygamists at Walmarts!

“Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a shaved sack.”

“Know what sounds good?”
“VAGINA!”

“He thinks you’re cute.”
“That’s because I am cute.”

“It’s weird watching a cat lick his own butthole.”
“Mommm! What’s for dinner?”
“Buttholes!”
“I could really go for some buttholes.”

“I baked a cake for you. In my pants.”

“Remember when you made me reverse 1/2 a mile in my car for a ‘Dangerous Curves’ sign and I wrecked my car? Wait, that’s because it hasn’t happened yet.”